Epilogue
"…oh anna i love you i love you anna i love you…" Elsa's voice was less than a whisper. She mouthed the words, and if her breathing hadn't already been heavy and rapid she wouldn't have made a sound at all.
The sensations from the warm kisses and soft caresses she had received and given had funnelled down between her thighs. Now the tide had reversed and she felt the stimulation that began there spread out through her body, a rising wave of delicious tension. It reached her throat, the tightness turning her gasps into moans and whimpers.
"Ah. Ahn. Ahnnn." Her eyes gently closed, her mouth slightly open, Elsa was helpless to do anything except respond to the visions behind her eyelids and the fire rising up from her cleft. She saw a jumble of images, of Anna's red hair unbound and cascading down her shoulders, Anna's soft lips parting in a fond smile, Anna's eyes shining with love for her sister, Anna's creamy skin dusted with freckles as if she had been sprinkled with cinnamon. Anna's toned legs, her tender hands, the curve of her breasts. Anna.
Elsa's fists gripped the bedsheets. Her body was at war, the urge for release versus the hunger to sustain this exquisite agony as long as possible. She slapped the mattress once and gripped the sheets again. Her head rocked restlessly from side to side.
Elsa felt a soft warm hand slide across her belly and cup her breast. A fingernail raked gently and deftly across her nipple in a way that never failed to affect her, sending electric tingles down her core, along the insides of her thighs and down to her flexing, curling toes. Her body was a violin string, taut and vibrating. Her moans came clearer. She approached her peak.
"Oh Anna oh God yes Anna yes oh God I love you Anna oh God yes!" The wild energy in her body was unleashed. She arched, her hips levitating off the bed. She slapped the mattress again, and once more. She cupped both hands over her cleft, protecting herself from any more pleasure than she could bear. Her body fell back to the bed with a thud. She lay gasping for a little while, luxuriating in the ecstasy of release, savouring it for the brief period before her spirit thudded down as hard as her body had.
She raised her head from the pillow and looked down. "Oh. I said her name again, didn't I. I'm sorry."
"It's all right," said Ingrid, looking up at Elsa from between her thighs and smiling compassionately.
"I didn't mean to, Ingrid."
"It's all right. I understand."
"I couldn't help myself."
"I know. It's all right."
Elsa's head flopped back onto the pillow. She looked up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry."
Ingrid sat up and wiped her face with a damp washcloth. "Please don't apologize. It really is all right. You have nothing to be sorry for."
"You were…there…down there…and I was saying her name. I'm sorry."
"I'm fine. I'm happy. I like it when you say her name."
Elsa raised up on her elbows to look at Ingrid, her brow furrowed. "Ingrid, how…why…how can you like it?"
Ingrid's compassionate smile turned a bit naughty. "I like what it does to you."
Elsa's own expression faded from bafflement to bemused contentment. She lay back, and Ingrid scootched up to lie next to her queen, resting her head in the hollow of Elsa's shoulder.
Elsa thought about the strange path that brought this slip of a girl into her bed. Nine months ago she was a terrified junior housemaid. Now she's here. When Elsa's incestuous passion for her sister drove them apart, when Elsa was alone and heartbroken, the one person who came to comfort her was Ingrid. Trembling, sweating, and carrying a board game because she heard that her queen was "sad and lonely". When Elsa wasn't up to talking but couldn't bear to be alone, Ingrid sat quietly and played hnefatafl with her. When Elsa and Anna reconnected, fighting to rebuild their sisterhood around a passion that couldn't be returned or denied, Ingrid was always there to be Elsa's calm refuge.
Then four months ago, a little before Christmas, Anna pushed them together under the mistletoe. Elsa finally saw the devoted young woman who had quietly adored her.
They kissed.
And now she's my… What is she, anyway? More than a friend. Less than a lover. Still a faithful servant. Girlfriend? Protégé? Mistress? Concubine? Elsa pictured Ingrid in a belly-dancer's costume, harem pants hanging off her slender hips, pale serious face peeking over a veil. She chuckled quietly. No, not concubine.
It would've been so much simpler if she could've loved Ingrid the way she loved Anna. And kinder to Ingrid. She liked Ingrid. She was deeply fond of her. She cared about her. But Elsa's love and passion all belonged to her radiant, vibrant, adorable, sometimes infuriating sister. It was a doomed and unnatural love, but it was beautiful and it was hers. Everyone wants someone to adore them, and someone to adore. I wish they could be the same person. She gave Ingrid a quick squeeze. Like she said, I can't be sad for what I've lost. I have to be grateful for what I've had.
"Ingrid, I don't understand how you have the strength not to be jealous."
Ingrid sighed happily. "Strength? Me? Oh no. I'm too lazy and selfish to be jealous."
"Really?" Elsa was feeling a bit better. "Tell me more."
"I'm too lazy to try to nag you into loving me. Especially since it could never work. And I'm too selfish to make myself miserable and spoil my happiness with you. I'd rather be content."
"And you're sure you don't feel even a bit of jealousy?"
"If it makes you uncomfortable I could badger you about spending time with Anna, and act sulky if you mention her name, and slide little digs about her into the conversation until you have to lie about what you're feeling and sneak around to spend time with her. But I don't think I could make you unhappy enough to like me better."
Elsa chuckled softly. "You have a sly sense of humour, Mouse."
"Thank you."
"I just wish you were having a better time." She smiled mirthlessly. "I feel like a poor hostess."
"What do you mean?"
Elsa grew solemn. "Well, I, um, reached my peak and you didn't. It doesn't seem fair to you. I appreciate what you do - 'appreciate' doesn't begin to describe it, I was literally ecstatic - but I wish you were…enjoying yourself, too."
The smile faded from Ingrid's face. "Oh. I see."
"What is it?"
"I did enjoy myself. Three times. I didn't think I was doing enough for you."
"What? Just now?" She felt Ingrid nod against her shoulder. "What - "
"I didn't want to interrupt."
"Interrupt!? You've been holding out on me. Did you think I wouldn't enjoy your pleasure?" She sighed, then caressed Ingrid's hair and kissed her forehead. "Silly Mouse. I worry sometimes that you take devotion too far." She felt Ingrid about to apologize, and cut her off. "Shush. And how could I have missed it? Missed them, I guess. How could you be that restrained?"
"I grew up sharing a small bedroom with two older sisters. I can be very quiet. I could show you if you'd like."
"That would be…interesting. I'd like to see that sometime." Elsa stared at the ceiling. She had been raised to be queen. She was taught to rule as she was taught to read and write. The idea that her people would be devoted to her, obedient, was second nature to her. But having that obedient devotion curled up naked at her side was very different. Why was devotion so easy to accept on her throne, but so awkward in her bed?
Lost in thought, it took Elsa a while to notice that Ingrid had already started her demonstration. Ingrid's hand was demurely tucked between her thighs. Only a slight flexing in Ingrid's arm, pressed against Elsa's side, hinted that her hand was moving. Elsa watched in quiet surprise. Ingrid barely moved. To an observer, she would've seemed peacefully asleep. Elsa held her own breath and listened to Ingrid's breathing; faster and deeper, but still smooth and nearly silent. She wanted to hold Ingrid closer but was afraid of disturbing her delicate performance. After a minute or so Ingrid opened her eyes and smiled up at Elsa, her gaze half-drugged with pleasure. Elsa smiled fondly back, and nodded. Ingrid closed her eyes again. Elsa felt Ingrid's motionless body tense in her arms and heard her breath stop. It didn't catch, it simply paused. For long seconds, everything was still.
Then the tension melted away and Ingrid released her breath in a long, deep, silent exhale. She looked adoringly at Elsa again, and mouthed, "Thank you."
They lay together in silence for a long while, Ingrid curled under Elsa's arm, Elsa staring at the ceiling.
"Ingrid?"
"Yes?"
"You don't have to go."
Ingrid sighed. "There's nothing I want more, but if my bed's not slept in, people will talk."
"Oh dear." Elsa gave Ingrid a comforting squeeze. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. That is, I do wish you could stay the night, but I meant that you don't have to go to the Southern Isles for me."
"I leave tomorrow. Everything's arranged."
"It doesn't have to be. I can undo the arrangements. You can stay here. You don't have to put yourself at risk."
Ingrid raised herself up on one elbow to look at Elsa. "Yes, I do. I swore to defend your person. And I will. Unless you've changed your mind about attending Prince Harald's wedding."
"No, I can't. I have to go. Diplomacy."
"You are my queen. If you command me to stay, I will. But unless one of your agents has finally infiltrated King Frederik's castle, it's my duty." Ingrid's eyes pleaded with Elsa."Please, let me do this for you."
Elsa hugged Ingrid to her side. "I'll see you in a month, in the Southern Isles."
"You'll see a silent little housemaid who no one will notice, inconspicuously dusting every secret in the castle." Ingrid giggled. "I'll be quiet as a mouse."
Elsa frowned at her. "You have to take this seriously."
"I do. Of course I do. I'm just happy and excited to serve you like this. I'll be fine. After all, did any of your councillors suspect that I was the one you had spy on them?"
Elsa lay back and chuckled. "You should've seen their faces. I swear, Anna was on the verge of laughing the entire time. When I told them I was going to have a security review they were probably expecting a lecture and a scolding. They weren't expecting me to drop sensitive information - that you retrieved - in front of them and tell them what they were doing wrong. The Councillor of State turned white, the Councillor of the Exchequer was about to faint, even the Councillor for Defense of the Realm looked embarrassed."
"Well, he shouldn't have kept his strongbox keys next to his strongbox then. And none of them imagined it was me, did they."
"Not a one. They all assumed I'd hired some freelance secret agent to test their security. When they pressed for details, Anna made up some story about Finn Rejdersen, international secret agent."
"Finn Rejder-? That sounds like..."
"Yes, the Prince Consort of Corona's old alias. I think Anna was deliberately trying to make me laugh. She nearly did, the brat." Elsa grinned. "You should've been there."
"I was."
"What? When?"
"You were facing the Councillor for Schools and Orphanages, asking if he had something he'd like to share with the rest of the cabinet. I stepped in and refilled the water pitcher. Was that wrong?"
Elsa bit her lip thoughtfully. "Well, you were right in front of them and they still didn't suspect you. I suppose that shows you're more competent than any of my 'real' spies."
"Please have faith in me. I'll be fine."
Ingrid put out the lamp, snuggled closer to Elsa, and they lay in comfortable silence in the dark. Elsa hadn't felt this relaxed for too long. She listened to Ingrid's breathing and smiled contentedly to herself.
She was starting to drift off when Ingrid screwed up her courage and said, "Elsa?"
"Yes?"
"When…" I'm gone, will you miss me? Will you think of me? No, I can't think like that. She has important things to do.
"When what?"
"When you go to the Southern Isles, I'm sure Anna will do an excellent job as Princess Regent."
Elsa's voice was blurry with sleepiness. "Mm-hm, Anna. She'll be good."
They lapsed into silence again.
Once Elsa had fallen asleep, Ingrid slipped out of bed. She tucked in her queen, then by touch and memory she dressed, gathered her things, and prepared to go. As she reached the door she turned to face the bed. "Good night, Your Majesty," she said softly, and curtseyed. "I love you."
She left, and padded in the darkness to her bed.