xXxXx
"Something is up with her," Anna insisted, and furrowed her brow. "I know it. I have to know, because she's my sister and sisters know this sort of thing, y'know? I mean, okay, no, we didn't exactly spend a lot of time together in forever, but I know Elsa!" A long, hard exhale. "I just wish she'd tell me what it is. I get that she's been of the whole protect-Anna-from-myself mindset for over ten years and that old habits are really, really hard to break, but come on!"
There was a faint whoosh of fabric, and then the low, subtly echoing sound of shoes against the floor as she started pacing. First to the window; then to the wall.
"I told you about last week, right?" A nod, but that was the only pause, and Anna was twining one braid in and out between her fingers. "Right. Lately she's been so distant and nervous and all wringing her hands and getting that look she gets when she's fretting over something - she gets that look way too often - and wow I just wanted to make her feel better so last week I brought her dinner and we talked and she made me an ice star which was awesome, but even if she isn't as fidgety as she was before, she still is." To the window. "It's like she's just not comfortable anywhere, and she darn well should be because she's perfect!" To the wall. "Sometimes, it's as if she has no confidence in herself whatsoever and it drives me crazy because she's smart - so smart - and graceful and educated and regal and she doesn't see that and I just want to shake her! Urgh!"
Anna's audience remained silent, but that was probably a good thing.
"But I'm also starting to think she's only this uneasy around me," the princess groaned. "And I don't want her to be, because she doesn't need to! I just want to get to know her again without having to worry about one of us doing something stupid or me saying something idiotic because we used to be so close when we were kids and now we're not kids or close and why can't we just talk to each other without fretting? It was so nice last week because even if she was all twitchy and I was me and worried and wow she looks pretty in the moonlight but it was nice because it was still easy! Why can't it be easy every day?"
Silence, and Anna spun on her heel to give her listener an annoyed look while setting her hands on her hips. "Look, I appreciate the ear, but right now I could use some advice." Still nothing, and the princess sighed and let her chin drop onto her chest. "Fine. Thanks for listening, anyway." Long, hastened steps took her towards the door, and she raised one hand in a wave. "See you later, Joan."
While Anna might have left the portrait room, she was wholly unable to leave her thoughts behind her. Instead, they chased themselves in annoyingly cheerful, little circles inside her skull as she walked - for once - down the castle halls; returning the greetings of servants and the odd guard automatically as she went. She felt eerily like the solution to all this was just out of her reach; like there was some tiny, miniscule clue she'd missed entirely that could repair everything at the wave of a hand if she could just identify it.
Ugh. She'd gotten all the way to her scheduled meeting with the merchant's counsel without coming to a conclusion, and now spent a few moments straightening her clothes and hair before entering. The head traders of the city were polite and kind but also true politicians, and Anna knew well that she'd have a headache once the meeting was over; possibly before. Life was much easier when it was all about filling up the hours with fun.
Anna set her hand on the door and started to push, then paused.
Fun. Suddenly her mind was whirring; a rush of sounds and images from both her memory and her imaginings that swam before her and was only physically visible in the rapid, unfocused flickering of teal eyes across the wood of the ornate door. Maybe fun was exactly what was needed to bring her and Elsa closer again.
Swallowing a grin and schooling her features into business-like neutrality, Anna pushed the door open and entered the room.
xXxXx
It was dark outside, and had in all honesty been that way for quite some time. The waxing moon, however - a little over half-full tonight - was generously providing enough pale light for Anna to see by. It was almost a shame that she was using it for nothing more than watching her bangs flutter up every time she blew a breath at them.
Eight days. That was the time that had passed since she'd last sensed Elsa presence in her bedroom. Every night since, Anna had stayed up in the hopes of catching the queen on another late-night visit, but as of yet, this was essentially how she passed the time until she fell asleep herself. Blowing at her hair, or building makeshift structures with her pillows and sheets, or just slumping back against the headboard and staring at the ceiling. She could have read, of course, or worked, but Elsa was apparently only entering when she thought her to be unconscious, and light and sound would clearly say that she wasn't.
So.
Anna flopped onto her side, and spent five minutes closing one eye and then the other; watching the top of her pillow seemingly move as she did so. Then she grabbed the pillow and pushed it over her face as she fell onto her back; using it to muffle a groan.
This was boring.
She lifted the pillow above her, and spun it slowly between her hands with a frown. Maybe she should go to Elsa instead, she considered, and changed her game into tossing the pillow back and forth from one hand to the other. The was a saying about going to something if the something wasn't coming to you, wasn't there? And maybe she could coax the queen into some long-abandoned playtime.
Decision made, Anna rolled - literally - out of bed, and caught herself on one hand before halfway running to the door; tugging a robe over her pale green night clothes as she went. She was smiling by the time she'd traversed most of the silent, dark halls that led to her sister's chambers, and when she reached the door itself, she was grinning. Then grin froze, however, when she pushed the heavy door open and heard the sound of staggering, strained breathing, and then her amusement vanished entirely.
"No..."
It was a strained, hoarse whisper, and Anna felt her insides clench as she hesitantly entered. Elsa was curled onto her side in the middle of her bed; facing away from the door, but with clear, agonizing lines of tension in body that made her entire frame twitch in time with the soft, pained sounds. The position, Anna realized as she closed the door and circled the bed, was pretty much the mirror of the one she'd been in that day on the ice.
"No!"
Stronger this time, and Anna navigated between the scattered pillows and linen to perch on the bed with one knee drawn onto the mattress; a frown furrowing her brow as she thought, and then reached out a careful hand. "Elsa-"
"NO!"
"Whoa!" Teal eyes widened, and Anna fought to keep her balance when her searching hand was sensed, caught and then sharply yanked. She tried to pull her wrist free to catch herself, but Elsa's grip was almost painfully strong, and she ended up falling sideways onto and over her sister's abdomen with a whoosh of shocked, expelled breath.
Her weight worked as a trigger, and she was hard pressed to now catch Elsa's wrists when the queen started thrashing violently; face contorted and hands clawing and punching at the restriction. "Elsa!" Frost-tipped fingers narrowly missed her nose, and she swore even as she caught the wrist and held on for dear life as she struggled to get herself into a better position and ended up straddling her terror-stricken sister. "Elsa! It's me!"
"ANNA!"
She sucked in a sharp breath, and felt her own eyes sting at the sight of glittering tears tracing the alabaster cheeks. No... no, God, please, don't let this be because of me. "Elsa!" She caught the other wrist as its fingers clenched in the front of her robe, and sent icy tendrils traveling over the fabric. "Elsa! It's okay - I promise!" The body beneath her continued to thrash, and Anna was vaguely reminded of a sight from her childhood - post-separation - one of young foals bucking in the fields. Only the foals were bucking from joy, and the sheer agony of fear etched in the unconscious queen's normally placid features made it clear that Elsa was feeling anything but joyful.
Think! she howled at herself, and set aside what portion of her own thoughts that weren't already occupied with trying to restrain her sister before Elsa hurt herself. She ended up working on instinct; releasing the wrists entirely and letting the frost-speckled fingers dig into her clothing while her own hands cupped the queen's face. "Elsa..." She consciously gentled her voice, and managed to keep it somewhat even in spite of being jostled as if she was astride an angry bull. "Everything is okay now." Gently, she traced the pads of her thumbs over the tear-dampened cheeks, and swallowed when she heard her sister's breath hitch, though the stilling of the body beneath her own heartened her even as the ice spread over her robe. "We're- I'm fine, I promise."
Anna had endured her own nightmares; to be expected, after everything that had happened. Hers, however, had faded, and she wondered at the terror that obviously still clung to her sister, but thought that maybe she understood the reason.
She had died. Elsa had seen her die, and more than that, had presumably blamed herself.
What would that do to me? she wondered as she gently kissed a smooth cheek and felt her heart break at the soft, frightened whimpers spilling from the queen's lips. What did it do to her?
"I'm right here, Elsa." Her voice shook as she spoke, and she forced it even. "I'll always be right here, remember?" Slowly, she both felt, saw and heard her sister's breathing steady, and the tears beneath her fingers started to dry without being renewed. The tendrils of ice that had expanded to cover almost the entirety of her robe languidly started to retreat, and when those eyes finally flickered open and settled on her face, both of them smiled in unconscious reaction.
"... Anna?"
"Hey." She brushed a few strands of long, white-blonde hair out of her topaz-blue eyes. "Better now?"
"Um..." Elsa was casting her gaze in all directions; taking in the room and everything in it before slumping back into the mattress. "Don't tell me you heard me all the way from your room."
"No." Anna straightened a little, and let her hands drop into her lap - or halfway onto her sister's stomach, given her position. The words rolled around her mind for a handful of heartbeats, and she cocked her head as she inferred the unspoken ones. "This isn't the first time, is it?" The sudden, reforming tension in Elsa's body was answer enough, and Anna quickly caught the pale hands in her own. "Hey - it's okay. Well, not okay because you hurting is never okay, but you know what I mean." She waited for the tension to seep out of the slender shoulders, and twined their fingers. "Get these a lot?"
"In spurts," Elsa admitted after a long pause, and sighed. "I haven't had one in a while before tonight."
Privately, Anna guessed that 'a while' would probably translate to around eight days. "Well." She slipped off of the queen's midriff and - after some wiggling - secured one of the discarded pillows and plopped it down next to Elsa's head. "We're gonna be roomies, then."
Wide, blue eyes stared up at her, and Elsa lifted herself onto her elbows. "Excuse me?"
"We are going to be roommates," Anna repeated slowly, and stood at the bedside as she discarded her robe. "At least for a while, to see if it helps. Your nightmares obviously involve me, and I think maybe having me here will hold them back." The robe fell to the floor with a plop as she climbed back onto the high bed, and seated herself near the middle with a quirked eyebrow. "So there."
"Anna..." Elsa fell onto her back with a slow sigh and ran a hand through her bangs. "This is silly."
"It's practical," Anna argued, and scooted on her butt to the foot of the bed to grab hold of the bunched-up covers. "I might just be the best cure, and having me closer by is better than having me further away." She scooted back up to the headboard, and watched her sister chew uncertainly at her lower lip. "If nothing else, I'll save you a middle-of-the-night trip." The covers settled over her shoulder as she lay down with her head in one hand, and hid a grin as Elsa predictably blushed at being found out. "Now..." She sent a ripple through the soft duvet to let it cover her sister as well, and then patted the mattress next to her. "Get over here."
Shame, she considered, that she so rarely got to see Elsa absolutely gobsmacked. It was a good look on her, but then again, what wasn't?
"What?"
Anna rolled her eyes and patted the mattress again; this time speaking slowly, as if to a child. "Get. Over. Here," she repeated, and idly wondered at the sudden flush that crept up the queen's neck. "Elsa, your nightmares are about me dying, right?" She waited until she saw a tiny, hesitant nod. "Right. Then I figure it would help if you know I'm close even while you're sleeping." Pause, and a grin. "Besides: cuddling! Good for what ails you."
It reminded her a little of the time she'd tried to coax a bird onto her finger. That had failed, of course, even after over an hour of patient - for an 8-year old - waiting, but thankfully Elsa wasn't a wild animal, and ultimately didn't turn her down. She was, however, red from her hairline to where her skin disappeared under her nightgown, and the arms that eventually wrapped around Anna's waist were trembling.
What's up with that? she mused as she settled down into the pillow and slowly stroked her fingers through Elsa's silky hair. Maybe it's because our roles are reversed, and she's not used to being taken care of? Indeed, the elder was definitely assuming the role of the comfortée at the moment, and had her head tucked almost demurely under Anna's chin, which the younger of them theorized might be the issue. Elsa was the queen, and as such, the caretaker in all ways. It wasn't impossible that she was feeling uncertain at letting someone else be the strong one.
Silly. Anna held her a little tighter, and felt a curious peace steal over her as her face pressed into the platinum hair. I'll always take care of you.
xXxXx